Melanin and its magic has me surrendering to the wilderness of my heart.
My melanin and its magic is unapologetic, and if this disturbs you - please stop reading. If it inspires, then continue to find yourself in my story... and keep doing the work.
I have mothered my broken parts and mended my inner bodies to restoration. I have learnt how to put my truth at the forefront of my work and this piece emerges from some of the deepest crevices of my existence.
I share this, as it surfaces like raging water, at the risk of being misunderstood or (mis)judged because I know the experiences I hold in this existence are valid and speaking on them benefits me and others who find relation to these words.
With this piece, I am not only creating a space for black women (and other women of color) to find themselves understood, at ease & loved unconditionally in, I am creating space for self care and greater healing.
Black women have been sweating prayers for insurmountable lengths of time.
And black women have won races barefoot and bloodied on top of the roughest terrains known to humankind.
The black woman has cried tears that come from a hundred years, while masking the burdens on her back through the cracks of her smile. Black women have had to endure.
With that said, healing spaces for us (and for WOC) are necessary.
The shadow catalyst of this condition stems from triggers that have been pulled, damaging the conscious and subconscious
minds of many. The holder of the gun pulling the trigger? White supremacy.
Please understand that I do not possess expert skills in social justice or any political realm. I am an artist, spiritual mentor, teacher and healer who feels strongly for creative and sacred spaces for healing and empowerment.
" The broken are the most evolved"
[This post will be thorough and may trigger some. I give you love instead of a warning.]
i sit here
in my self
and my body
and my experiences
and this morning
i find myself on the verge
of yet another necessary
and instead of suppressing parts of my truth during this release, today in this space, i am sitting with all of it.
i sit with my presence in the world as a black woman.
i sit with how the very existence of black women has made the world feel.
i sit with the constructs meant to deter me & those like me (constructs that i’ve often turned a blind eye to or disregarded for the sake of coddling my white counterparts in promise of their comfort).
i sit with my past where i sold myself short in order to assimilate into spaces that were never made for me.
i sit with the sleepless nights.
i sit with the internal strife.
i sit with all of my ‘why’s’
today, i sit with the truth. the whole truth.
As a successful entrepreneur and performer, I have come face to face with some of the ugliest of intentions.
And I have come face to face with those who “don’t understand” my place in my success (which has only just begun). I have come face to face with my impact in this world as it travels along its very broad spectrum.
Here I contemplatively sit with all of this and more.
And as I sit, I cannot help but recognize the unconscious mechanism of my grace that would of otherwise hardened if it were not for this awareness— I am capable of feats that fear cannot find; and the (literal and/or perceived) barriers and walls built for women like me become mere illusions and dismantle into dust when confronted. I know this and I declare this. I declare it out loud for myself...and for you (my sisters).
Brilliant, bold, beautiful and brave. I am these things and much more. WE are these things and much more. I do not say these things to boost egos or manufacture any false sense of self - I express this in grounded certainty. We are these things and much more. And not only because we are held in positions where we have to be these things, (when whole) we are the honest epitome of these traits and qualities.
Can you feel that?
The earth rumbles beneath your feet when you connect to the part of you that you know is otherworldly. I’m speaking to that part that many of us have silenced while it pleads with us to awaken and while it knocks to remind us of our rich innate constitution.
I don't write this to debate; I write this to mobilize.
I write this to inspire black women (and other women of color) to embody the roots of their essence with no apologies.
And to embody the part of you that is magic.
But to do so, the purge lays as our springboard.
I came into a layer of this purging process following a recent trip to Boulder, Colorado where I felt mother nature's current pulsating and greeting me as if it understood the language of my presence.
The land held me in its knowing.
My hikes through Boulder’s parks and wilderness brought me into incredible experiences that have shaken my core to its reckoning.
“...and their eyes were watching...”
There were several eyes on me from the moment I entered the city of Boulder and checked into my hotel. The countless stares (that I normally disregard or even acknowledge with a smile depending on the "vibe") and moments of obvious and shameless gawking I received while visiting Boulder called me into my spirit. I suppose this was to protect myself. I had to push aside the urges of my ego in order to assess my experience from a higher form.
I saw and felt a lot in a very high concentration in a very short period of time.
I was a witness the entire trip to an important part of my existence.
(Spirit is where I pull from when accessing elevated aspects and energies. And as a healer and spiritual mystic, I feel I am able to absorb and tap into much more than I would if I were not those things; so there are many pieces to this.)
I am a black woman. And my presence is thunderous to many, if not most.
And this trip made that very clear.
But in the dichotomy of this experience, Pachamama carried me through my time there. She was with me every step of the way. From the city to the pastoral hills, she was there as my spirit's guide teaching me and filling me. She brought to me beautiful wonders where wildlife would come so close as if to deliver a message from her.
She not only carried me, she held me accountable. And she walked me through parts of myself & the world. And within the palpable contrasts of this journey, she empowered me with the wisdom and awareness to process it all.
And then, the purge (which will come through in my new music to be released in 2019) and ascend.
(Take her in for a moment here, if you'd like)
boulder colorado / blue lake hike
The broken are the most evolved.
Many of us have been broken down and have met with our ruin. Many of you may be experiencing this right now
or perhaps you’re coming out of one of the many (difficult) transformative cycles we must endure in this journey.
Please know that it's necessary.
Know that all that is put before you is your lesser competitor.
Ride the wave and allow it to take you where it will and continue to focus on the work and your wholeness.
...be unapologetic in your melanin and your magic.
And know that I am holding sacred space for you, beloved ones.
You are brilliant, bold, beautiful and brave.
And you're evolving.
Don't fear the change. Don't fear the expansion of your consciousness.
Trust the process. Trust your power...
...and go within.
*I want to give a special thanks to Layla (ig: wildmysticwoman) for the work she is doing. She is an inspiration of mine and I am grateful for the space(s) she is creating for everyone on very important discussions. Please engage her on ig by following her and joining her #MeAndWhiteSupremacy challenge.